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09.13.03 - 12:10 am It's finally the end of the week, and it couldn't have come at a better time. This whole "school" thing is becoming a bit redundant, and I'm already longing for a month home at Christmas. In the middle of the summer, I vowed that I was going to fight my depressive days, that I wasn't going to let the storms around me affect my internal peace. It seemed like such a wonderful plan at the time... Now, though, I see that I'm not of the sort to ignore things or bury them so that I can play a self-imposed game of make believe. Because of that, I can say "Today hasn't been the best day," accept it for what it's worth, and hope that tomorrow will be better. If I had a genie in a bottle, my wish tonight would be for at least two weeks worth of anonymity. I'd love to be that quiet, unassuming girl who walks in the dining hall and sits by herself every day. I don't want to be watched or scrutinized, and I don't want to be a distraction. I'm not slipping away into the abyss of feeling that was last fall; in fact, I'm having trouble feeling anything at all. A million shreds of myself are whipping around in the wind, and for once, I'm just an onlooker instead the emotionally involved. I'm not familiar with this disconnected feeling, but parts of it are protective, so I won't evict it yet. Maybe that's the reason I come here to write, but end up blankly staring at the screen for thirty minutes. I want to have a conversation I've never had before. Songs of the Day:
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