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12.08.03 - 6:34 pm I've been done with finals since Friday, and now I'm just sitting back and trying to tie up all the loose ends before I head home for Christmas. This semester, I noticed something about the people here. Being older and already having a decent friend-base, I had the opportunity to sit back and watch the freshman scramble to find their places instead of being a part of it. What I saw was very reminiscent of my own beginnings here: flirting into the hearts of others. I can't help but wonder how many upperclassmen watched my ridiculousness two years ago and thought of their previous own. It just kind of set me back as I watched manufactured light sparkle in people's eyes, realizing how silly we humans can be. In the midst of a brand new world, all we really wanted was people who would care deeply about us. The majority of us came without others, and we yearned for a foundation underfoot as quickly as possible. Charm is deceiving, though, and it didn't take too long before people's true colors surfaced. And mine are still changing with the seasons. At this point, I would much rather be important in a way that doesn't scream "Notice me!" than anything else. I've been thinking a lot lately about the future, and what it might hold for me. I don't know if I'm going to be one of the ones God calls to a specific place or vocation, or if I'm just supposed to figure it out myself and go, be, and do with His purposes in mind. I guess I'll find out for sure at my graduation in a year-and-a-half. The past two days, I've whined about this mess to many friends and family, and although I seemed at the end of my rope in the midst of these conversations, I really am okay. It'll all be okay because He's never going to stop being Mine.
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